A short tale. In more ways than one.

Here I am. Jonesing for porn. Again.

The evil twin is writing porn, but instead of giving me tidbits, she keeps saying things like, "Mike is mean," and "Aha! >:D" which, while scintillating, aren't quite cutting it.

I demand tidbits.

She says, "I HAD AN EVIL IDEA."

I think about mixing myself a drink.

Instead of hanging out with my pal, Jack the Emotional Crutch, I brilliantly say, "Two can play this game, baby!" and never mind she's not the one with the addict jitters.

Breaking open a word doc, I intend to get right down to business. Dirty, dirty business. And then-

Great. The neighbours are having sex. Either that, or the wolf they call a dog is humping the wall, because the wall, it is shaking. Shaking, rattling, and if a wall could roll, it would be.

I'm sorta reluctantly impressed.

About three seconds later, it stops, and I say to the evil twin, "Whew. Alright, well. That's over."

Maybe because I called out to Roomie to tell her I think the neighbours are fucking and now they're too embarrassed to keep their groove on. They probably think I am one rude, uncouth individual.

Either way, I guess the sex wasn't that great.