filthy as the ace of spades

I have this nigh-uncontrollable urge to fling these ficlets-I-mean-drabbles at people. I mean, I'm down to three two left to write. Two. I'm going to go out on a limb and say they're not stellar, hours-and-hours put into them, but I've got time for that. What I don't have is a handy evil twin who has time to beta and cheer enthusiastically at me.

Would it be really so horrible if I snuck just one in a post? I mean, so really very horrible?

Instead, have two short ficlet-type things that are a) sadly un-porny, b) afflicted with a startling case of bad humour and c) stuck with titles that make me giggle like a two year old. If you happen to see glaring typos, please to be letting me know, as I can't beta my own work to save my life, and the aforementioned evil twin has the unfortunate audacity to be studiously planning her prosperous future instead of being ever-faithfully at my beck and call.

...see, see? I only like to think I'm funny.

Roy makes me abuse italics.

Beer Goggles
FF1. Red Mage/Black Mage. R. ~300 words. Because she sketched this out for me in record time.
Somewhere near the bottom of Red Mage's second cup of ale, this seemed like a fantastic idea.

( Read me. )

One of Those Days
FMA. Roy/Hughes/Gracia. R. ~550 words.
Perhaps Wednesdays could be salvaged after all.

( Read me. )