filthy as the ace of spades

Help me, AO3! You’re my only hope!

2019-12-11T02:23:03Z

Trying to recover access to my AO3 account after way too many years of disuse.

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Fic: Cookies and Wet Cat - Scott/Stiles

2013-07-18T15:52:55Z

Alright, fine. I'll find some Teen Wolf icons already.

ponderosa and rivers_bend are my heroes.

Cookies and Wet Cat
Teen Wolf. Scott McCall/Stiles Stilinski. NC-17. ~4000 words. BFFs 4eva. Post episode S3EP03: Fireflies.
Stiles has seen Scott at his craziest, and while this doesn’t look like that brand of crazy, Scott is still in the middle of taking his clothes off.

( Read me. )

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Shoe sale! (Updated randomly!) AKA Blue can no longer wear her shoes. ;-;

2013-05-13T19:14:17Z

The unthinkable, the UNBELIEVABLE, has happened: I have too many shoes. So after four years of trying, I'm finally purging my collection. (I've worked in retail for ~10yrs, omg so many shoes.) I'm probably going to add new shoes to this weekly, since I cling to my shoes with clawed hands of consumer desperation and there are tons and tons to go through.

ETA: Some of you know I broke my foot last year in a work accident. Since then, I've had horrible chronic foot pain that won't go away no matter what physio or shoes I wear, so I caved and had stupidly expensive yet omg full of such relief orthotics made. The huge downside here is that they don't fit pretty much 2/3 of my collection, so the purge has become ridiculously necessary.

All comments are screened, so if there is a shoe you want, you can leave its number/name, your email address AND physical address so I can email you a shipping quote. If you want more than one, we can talk discount! I am flexible, yo.

If the box is pictured, you'll get that too, unless you tell me otherwise! Sizes range from 7-10! (Selling some of Roomie's for her at the same time.)

PS If you have questions about fit/comfort/material/fitting aids (of course I have half insoles and heel grips and EVERYTHING) just ask! Shoe sizes are like clothing sizes: more like guidelines. :3

( Pics, prices, and helpful descriptions beneath the cut! )

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Fic: Roadside Assistance - Scott/Stiles

2012-11-22T16:21:17Z

I'm going to have to give in and get some icons, aren't I.

Happy only-slightly-belated birthday to ponderosa (who provides most excellent titles). Mwah!

Roadside Assistance
Teen Wolf. Scott McCall/Stiles Stilinski. NC-17. ~3700 words. BFFs. Blanket!fic.
"Ow, okay, what part of ow are you not getting? God, is this how you cuddle?"

"I'm not trying to cuddle you," Scott says, rooting determinedly around. "I'm trying to keep you warm."

Stiles gives him a long look. A really, really long one, because sometimes Scott needs the time to chug his way around to a conclusion.

"Oh," he says.

( Read me. )

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Fic: Hey hey my playmate - Derek/Stiles

2012-10-24T04:34:33Z

Hi, new fandom. Hi.

Hey hey my playmate
Teen Wolf. Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski. NC-17. ~3100 words. Established relationship. Enthusiastic consent. Bestiality (of the werewolf kind). Knotting. Inspiried by this incredibly NSFW pic by Jinxii. Show You What All The Howl Is For.
Stiles is definitely a special kind of brilliant to be running around out here half-naked in the dark with a werewolf hot on his tail.

( Read me. )

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Fic: Give the dog a bone - Frank/Gerard

2012-10-17T16:14:17Z

Give the dog a bone
My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way/Frank Iero. NC-17. ~6200 words. Puppyplay.
Gerard arfs in agreement before he grins up at Frank. "Pet me, motherfucker, I'm a good dog."

( Read me. )

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Fic: In Repair - Frank/Gerard

2012-09-04T19:05:35Z

In Repair
My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way/Frank Iero. NC-17. ~33,000 words. Underage. Robots. (But not underage robots.) Bonus delicious amazing artwork and soundtrack linked below! Written for bandombigbang 2012.

"Shit," Frank mutters, and shoves both hands through his hair. He looks around the kitchen like he's gonna find what he should do scratched into the old linoleum, then looks back at the bot. He gnaws on his lip. Fuck it. He already knows what he's gonna do. He's just gotta do it.

Getting down on his knees, he braces a hand on the edge of the crate and leans over the bot. It's dressed in a plain white tee and matching drawstring pants like an escaped mental patient. Frank rolls his neck and cracks his knuckles, shaking the ache out of them before carefully laying his palm against its cheek. He's pretty sure his voice is steady when he says, "Activate."

Nothing happens. Fucking shitty packaging-- the thing's busted. But Frank keeps his hand where it is, jumping a little when he feels the surge of energy beneath it. The robot's skin goes from room temperature to lukewarm, then warm. Frank watches it open its eyes, the light behind them adjusting until they're a pale sort of brown. It looks at him and asks, "Am I dead?"

( Read me. )

Link to artwork and soundtrack post (and all the flailing) here!

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Fic: Space Junk - Frank/Gerard

2012-08-20T19:55:48Z

Space Junk
My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way/Frank Iero. NC-17. ~6100 words. Consensual alien abduction, mood-altering spit, excessive amounts of spunk, and a complete lack of shame. Sequel to Got another dime for your telephone, aka, Gerard Way: Sex Alien.
"I mean," Gerard rambles on, "how was I supposed to tell him? What was I supposed to tell him? 'Hi, sweetheart, I'm here to steal you, how about a kiss'?"

( Read me. )

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Fic: Got another dime for your telephone - Frank/Gerard

2012-08-09T16:44:29Z

Needed to write something quick and distracting and in no way related to BBB. Obviously, this means alien!Gerard. Duh.

Got another dime for your telephone
My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way/Frank Iero. NC-17. ~5000 words. Alcohol. Drugs. Aliens!
Totally, of course. A sex alien named Gerard dropped out of the sky to watch him jerk off. No way is his brain making this shit up.

( Read me. )

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Fic: It's tough to take a man's shovel when he really wants to dig - Frank/Gerard

2012-06-23T18:30:41Z

I told you.

It's tough to take a man's shovel when he really wants to dig
My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way/Frank Iero. NC-17. ~3700 words. Alcohol, drugs, watersports, sex involving all three.
If Frank concentrates, he's pretty sure he remembers Gerard saying something like that about five minutes ago. That he liked dick, he liked Frankie's dick, he kinda wants to get all up on it, hope that doesn't make shit weird.

( Read me. )

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Fic: With Apologies to Housekeeping - Frank/Gerard

2012-06-19T22:36:55Z

I, however, apologise for nothing. NOTHING.

A very lovely person requested MCR watersports from me about, oh, four years (months, whatever) ago, and I couldn't decide what to write, so I wrote two. It's, uh, a good thing there isn't a whole hell of a lot of this already out there?

...still not sorry.

With Apologies to Housekeeping
My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way/Frank Iero. NC-17. ~4500 words. Established relationship, watersports.
"If you tickle me, I'll piss on you."

Frank says, "Kinky."

( Read me. )

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Fic: Show you what all that howl is for - Frank/Gerard

2012-04-27T05:50:11Z

Wolf-on-wolf action! says Twitter. OKAY, says Blue.

Show you what all that howl is for
My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way/Frank Iero. Hard R. ~4000 words. Werewolves.
How is Frank supposed to enjoy a good run knowing Gerard's out there pissing on his trees?

( Read me. )

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Fic: Click-track Heart - Atom/Max

2012-04-18T06:03:28Z

When somebody wants robot porn, who am I to say no?

Click-track Heart
Real Steel. Atom/Max Kenton. NC-17. ~4000 words. Robot/boy xeno yay!
Atom hates that he has a will, but not the freedom to use it.

( Read me. )

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Like a to do list. Sorta. Almost, maybe.

2012-04-07T00:23:17Z

Break foot - check!
Finish gay historical romance using paid time off - check!
Freak the fuck out about publishing it - FUCKIN CHECK

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Fic: You're so cute when you're slurring your speech - Frank/Gerard

2012-03-20T15:42:10Z

This is for River, who doesn't care if I have a broken foot, she's going to get me to Bitchin' Party even if she has to COME GET ME HERSELF. Which... she does. Guys, she's gonna drive two and a half hours into the CANADIAN WILDERNESS (aka Vancouver) to get me to this party. MOST AMAZING. MOST GENEROUS. MOST DESERVING OF PURE UNAPOLOGETIC PORN.

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech
My Chemical Romance. Gerard/Frank. NC-17. ~8200 words. Pencey Prep days.
If this is what Frank wants, then fuck it. Just fucking fuck it. Frank can have it.

( Read me. )

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Fic: Get Naked (I Got a Plan) - Frank/Gerard

2012-02-01T22:39:34Z

Just because you THINK you can write established relationship high school AU kinky tentacle porn for someone who loves established relationships and high school AUs and kinky tentacle porn TOTALLY means you absolutely should. I apologise not at all, FOR ANYTHING.

Get Naked (I Got a Plan)
My Chemical Romance. Gerard/Frank. HS AU. TENTACLES. NC-17. ~10,600 words. Most ridiculous and amazing banner by the most ridiculous and amazing cee_m. Similarly, this fic for rivers_bend.
Frank slides his hand all the way up to where Gerard's arm and tentacles fuse at his armpit. The difference between the feel of one beneath his palm and the other is literally the stuff his dreams are made of. His wet dreams.

( Read me. )

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Fic: Midgets and Madmen Run This Scene - Frank/Gerard

2011-12-19T22:53:20Z

Christmas retail hours SUCK. I possibly made a mix for rivers_bend's LBB, so then I might have made one for this, too. Maybe. Download the not-gonna-admit-to-it mixtape here or here!

Midgets and Madmen Run This Scene
My Chemical Romance. Gerard/Frank. Prison!AU. Contains scenes of violence, off-screen/aborted dubcon, drug abuse, and a ridiculous marshmallow core. NC-17. ~29,000 words.
How assholes in prison fall in love.

( Read me. )

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Talkly talkyness!

2011-11-27T04:02:54Z

If for some bizarre and strange reason you would like to hear me ramble nonsensicially about semi-bandom related stuffs, here you go! I sorta totally completely fail on the whole bandom part though, and like, yeah. It's random fandom babbly sometimes. Oh well.

Technically, I was supposed to answer ( these questions! )Which I kinda sorta maybe mostly did? I think?

WHATEVER. HERE IS MY RAMBLY VOICE. :D

bandommemefinsalish by bluesoaring

ps. yes yes, wife, i know, IT WAS EARLY.

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Fic: crack your body crack my mind - Frank/Gerard

2011-11-02T03:28:08Z

Halloween's never really over. This is for rivers_bend, because her flailing moves mountains, and fangirls. (I already did this once, but she wanted it again. And again. And probably again.) ♥

crack your body crack my mind
My Chemical Romance. Gerard/Frank. AU. Xeno. NC-17. ~4500 words.
Frank only comes out when he's alone.

( Read me. )

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Fic: Black Market Blood - Frank/Gerard

2011-10-15T03:00:39Z

IT'S OCTOBER. I LOVE HALLOWEEN. HAVE SOME VAMPIRE!GERARD. \o/

Black Market Blood
My Chemical Romance. Gerard/Frank. NC-17. ~17,000 words. Vampire AU. NOW WITH FANART BY THE INCREDIBLE azrabel!
Frank's so fucking freaky he's potentially wigging out a fucking vampire.

( Read me. )

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Fic: Kiss My Battery - Tony/Jarvis

2011-10-12T06:37:04Z

This has been languishing on my desktop for months and months. Thank you, My Chem, for providing me with the most awesomest title ever. :D

Kiss My Battery
Iron Man (movie). Tony/Jarvis. NC-17. ~3000 words. Sorta masturbation, sorta self-cest, sorta really not.
This was the next logical step in the evolution of Iron Man, but that didn't mean he hadn't been dying to do it for years. It was one hell of a good excuse though.

( Read me. )

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Fic: Flick of the Wrist - Tommy/Frank (Adam/Tommy, Gerard/Frank)

2011-10-01T19:21:40Z

Flick of the Wrist
Bandom. Tommy Joe Ratliff/Frank Iero (with Adam/Tommy and Gerard/Frank relationshippyness). NC-17. ~9200 words. High school AU. Missing scene/sequel-type-thing to Basement Rhapsody.
Not caring one bit about how Frank's heart is trying to break through his ribs, but apparently totally into how his dick is trying to bust out of his jeans, Tommy says, "Frank likes it."

( Read me. )

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Fic: Shadow Play - Adam/Tommy

2011-09-21T01:57:26Z

Written way too quickly as a porny timestamp to Stranger Things Never Changed My Mind for rivers_bend. Unf, unf, monsters.

Shadow Play
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. AU. Xeno. NC-17. ~2500 words. Timestamp to Stranger Things Never Changed My Mind.
There's a heaviness in Adam's limbs that makes this feel like a dream, heat-hazy and unreal. As unreal as the soft click of claws on tile. His eyes slip shut as he smiles. "I was wondering when you'd find me."

( Read me. )

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THIS PHOTO, AUGH.

2011-09-20T17:53:00Z

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PHOTO.

Like, Gerard, all, peep peep here I am! And Frank in his ridiculous DAD outfit with his happy face of PURE EVIL, THAT IS THE FACE OF EVIL, and Ray all, it's cool, I'll hold him down so you can snap a photo :) and Mikeyway WHO LIVES IN THAT SHIRT, until as rivers_bend said, he's wrestled out of it and into his Art is the Weapon shirt while that one is seekritly washed, and AUGH, AUGH, BAND. ♥

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Fic: You Lack Integration and a Cheap Pursuit - Adam/Tommy (1/2)

2011-09-06T16:28:52Z

This would literally not be half the story it is without rivers_bend. Endless thanks to her for absolutely everything, and to quinn_art and valress for helping me weed out the pesky typos that hide from me like ninja.

Like Saint Joe on the School Bus, at the end of this fic you'll find a download link for a pdf of the story (ePub to follow in the next few days) and a link to donate if you'd like to for any reason. I've been working on original novels for the last two years or so, dragging it out, but I've decided I'm putting one out next year, no more piddling around, because omg, can I freakin' piddle like a champ. (Unhousetrained pets have nothing on me, for serious.) You don't have to donate to download the pdf or the ePub; take it, share it, and I hope you enjoy!

In other news, I've totally found Dreamwidth's post limit. Crazy.

You Lack Integration and a Cheap Pursuit
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. NC-17. ~60,000 words. Werewolf AU containing underage rebellion, sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock 'n roll.
Tommy has a plan. A very careful, weeks-long in development, not-so-shabby plan. The internet's pretty good for learning shit, but his mom's crazy, and disappointingly computer-savvy. Way more savvy than Tommy is. Tommy found out about the clubs through news articles, a few details through some message boards not filtered out by parental controls tighter than Fort fucking Knox, but not the real nitty-gritty stuff. Like if weres can smell how old you are.

( Read me. )

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