the special dirty things

I are getting new computer! THIS IS EXCITING. I've never owned a brand new out of the box still smells like rampant consumerism computer! A shiny new iMac for me~~!

Which means I'm retiring Sammy. This makes me feel inexplicably guilty. He is still a perfectly good little iMac, put-putting along without any troubles. I'm going to see about selling him to someone with general home computer needs, meaning hopefully some cash monies towards new computer (a shiny dual boot that I want to name Holmes (the crazy and temperamental, I mean, misunderstood, but undoubtedly useful Windows partition) and Watson (the stable, reliable and infinitely more personable Mac partition) because I am a DORK) and Sammy will continue to be useful to someone.

21 INCHES OF IMAC LOVIN, ZOMG. \o/

Sorry Sammy! D:

MY SMOOSH IS SHOWING.

My brother just called to tell me he's passed the written test for the RCMP.

My brother.

MY BROTHER WHO IS LIKE JAYNE COBB ONLY NOT AS SMART AND LESS INCLINED TO FITS OF PROPER MORAL JUDGEMENT.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT FUCKED UP FUCKERY.

-Operation Wake Up Early: Fail. Mission aborted halfway through. I DO NOT ACTUALLY NEED NINE HOURS OF SLEEP, BODY.

-The evil twin is a fic writing machine when Porn Battle rolls around. It makes me lazy. It's like, I don't need to write, she's doing it for me, why expend the extra effort when I can just kick back and enjoy? This is also sometimes my philosophy on sex. Ahar.

-I have never had a character as FUSSY as JUDE LAW in my head. I wanted to write quick and dirty porn. RDJ is all THUMBS UP! and Jude is all no plot, no cock. Whut. No, seriously. WHUT.

-Editing one original novel has stalled about 20k in. This is what I get for waking up one day, saying, "Hey, I wonder if I can write a novel," and then doing so without firmly plotting what the fuck happens in it.

-I'm starting to think part time employment is harder to find than full time.

-HAVE FINALLY HEARD FROM BANK. Student loan has been increased by not-enough-but-still-scary-because-I-have-to-one-day-repay-it for the purposes of continuing education. Here's hoping a specialised diploma in something I can already pretty much do is of more use than my Bachelor's.

-Jude, seriously. Porn.

I'm going to be completely shameless about this and flail all over the place in manic glee because my evil twinses has written me FIC WITH ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION and it is the hottest thing EVER.

Witness my CAPSLOCK ABUSE and my FLAIL.

Also, I admit to some bias here, but that is a very fine example of something that is utterly and entirely besides the point. And on top of that, it somehow manages to be cute and hot.

And it is very horribly and wonderfully named To Rise to the Occasion.

And MOST IMPORTANTLY, it makes me happy. \o/

She has also written me 80s Brat Pack Kiefer Sutherland/Robert Downey Jr. porn, Not Quite Ready for Primetime. ♥

In other unrelated news, I WRITE TO MUCH BLOODY GOD DAMN FIC. It's going to take me weeks to get everything over on AO3. x_x

I went through this stage in my life where I never really watched movies. Boy, am I so over that. Now I play catch up with little stars in my eyes.

Wretched
Gattaca. Vincent/Jerome. NC-17. ~2300 words. Hatesex.
Jerome has never had anything so noble as a point to prove.

( Read me. )

I'd say I'm having too much fun but IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE TOO MUCH FUN HERE OMG SO ADORABLE.

Ahem. Porn! :D

Flyboy
Iron Man. Tony/Steve. NC-17. ~4600 words.
"With wild and crazy abandon," Tony said, and grabbed him around the waist to yank him close like a black and white picture hero. "Hold on tight."

( Read me. )

This is basically an excuse to write something in a shiny fandom for a shiny person and hopefully do some shiny good.

Bid on 2000 words of Sherlock Holmes 2009 or Jude/RDJ fic by me at help_haiti. Prompt or I'll just write shameless porn FOR AMERICA CHARITY. :D