filthy as the ace of spades

Christmas retail hours SUCK. I possibly made a mix for rivers_bend's LBB, so then I might have made one for this, too. Maybe. Download the not-gonna-admit-to-it mixtape here or here!

Midgets and Madmen Run This Scene
My Chemical Romance. Gerard/Frank. Prison!AU. Contains scenes of violence, off-screen/aborted dubcon, drug abuse, and a ridiculous marshmallow core. NC-17. ~29,000 words.
How assholes in prison fall in love.

( Read me. )

Halloween's never really over. This is for rivers_bend, because her flailing moves mountains, and fangirls. (I already did this once, but she wanted it again. And again. And probably again.) ♥

crack your body crack my mind
My Chemical Romance. Gerard/Frank. AU. Xeno. NC-17. ~4500 words.
Frank only comes out when he's alone.

( Read me. )

This has been languishing on my desktop for months and months. Thank you, My Chem, for providing me with the most awesomest title ever. :D

Kiss My Battery
Iron Man (movie). Tony/Jarvis. NC-17. ~3000 words. Sorta masturbation, sorta self-cest, sorta really not.
This was the next logical step in the evolution of Iron Man, but that didn't mean he hadn't been dying to do it for years. It was one hell of a good excuse though.

( Read me. )

Written way too quickly as a porny timestamp to Stranger Things Never Changed My Mind for rivers_bend. Unf, unf, monsters.

Shadow Play
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. AU. Xeno. NC-17. ~2500 words. Timestamp to Stranger Things Never Changed My Mind.
There's a heaviness in Adam's limbs that makes this feel like a dream, heat-hazy and unreal. As unreal as the soft click of claws on tile. His eyes slip shut as he smiles. "I was wondering when you'd find me."

( Read me. )

This would literally not be half the story it is without rivers_bend. Endless thanks to her for absolutely everything, and to @Quinn_ART and @Valress for helping me weed out the pesky typos that hide from me like ninja.

Like Saint Joe on the School Bus, at the end of this fic you'll find a download link for a pdf of the story (ePub to follow in the next few days) and a link to donate if you'd like to for any reason. I've been working on original novels for the last two years or so, dragging it out, but I've decided I'm putting one out next year, no more piddling around, because omg, can I freakin' piddle like a champ. (Unhousetrained pets have nothing on me, for serious.) You don't have to donate to download the pdf or the ePub; take it, share it, and I hope you enjoy!

In other news, I've totally found Dreamwidth's post limit. Crazy.

You Lack Integration and a Cheap Pursuit
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. NC-17. ~60,000 words. Werewolf AU containing underage rebellion, sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock 'n roll.
Tommy has a plan. A very careful, weeks-long in development, not-so-shabby plan. The internet's pretty good for learning shit, but his mom's crazy, and disappointingly computer-savvy. Way more savvy than Tommy is. Tommy found out about the clubs through news articles, a few details through some message boards not filtered out by parental controls tighter than Fort fucking Knox, but not the real nitty-gritty stuff. Like if weres can smell how old you are.

( Read me. )

From one filthy pervert to another. ♥ (Tommy, this is what happens when you post pictures of yourself taking a leak on the internet.)

Push My Button, Going Down
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. NC-17. ~5200 words. Desperation play and intimacy kink.
It's a special kind of sleaze who gets off on something like their friend being a squirmy little shit who won't just go to the fucking bathroom already.

( Read me. )

Some days, Adam looks like this



and it makes me write mobster AUs. Other days, Adam looks like this



and it makes me want to write Victorian steampunk AUs. But today, since Tommy so helpfully has this new ~obsession with Mad Men, it's mobster day. :D Originally posted on glam_kink, what, omg, I forgot to put it hereeeee.

Stray Cat Strut
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. NC-17. ~2500 words. Mobster!AU.
That's some kind of divine comedic twist there, the dirty smudge of his fingerprints on Adam's soul, and St. Pete can go fuck his pearly gates, heaven is right fucking here in Adam's sweet vermouth mouth.

( Read me. )

For zoodlemouse13, who is as obsessed with weres as I am, and @silentdescant, who is, like, zomg. ♥

Skin This Cat
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. NC-17. ~12,000 words. Werefic!
Summer air is close and charged in Tommy's lungs, the music is thrumming in his bones, the drums guide his heartbeat, and there's nowhere, fucking nowhere, he'd rather be than where he is, down on one knee, fingers on the frets, Adam's gaze on him crackling thunderstorm-thick.


by @QuinnAIT

( Read me. )

Many, many, unbelievable amounts of thanks to @ViewontheWorld for all her hard work on this, and to @Zoodlemouse13 and @Sulwen for test reading, and helping me weed out all those pesky typos. Though I've probably made more with endless, last-minute fiddling, oops.

Since I cave to peer pressure like a house of wet cards in an earthquake, included beneath the cut in this post you'll find a pdf and an ePub of Saint Joe (though I'm not sure how useful that is for you people with ereaders; for iPad, it works great--suggestions as to which format works better for certain readers are totally welcome), along with a link to my Paypal for you crazy, wonderful people that want to throw money at me to help me get my original stuff off the ground. I'm not really good at this sort of thing, but when people want to give you something, the polite thing to do is accept it and say thank you, so that's what I'm gonna do.

Download the story, take it, read it, pass it around, enjoy it! And if you're inclined, donate however much you like, whenever you like. I'm going to write all of you fic forever no matter what. ♥

Saint Joe on the School Bus
Glamdom. Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff. NC-17. ~26,000 words. AU. Underage. Drugs. Alcohol. Prostitution. Sweet, glorious cliches.
Tired of being told what to do, by his parents and the nuns at school, Tommy takes to turning tricks for kicks. But when a kid named Adam, his age, hot, and so fucking sweet it hurts, finds him on his corner, Tommy finds out there's more fun to rebelling than just in pissing people off.

( Read me. )